i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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