Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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