Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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