I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
