Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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