Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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