I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
