Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
