I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
