hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
