Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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