we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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