And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I currently don't understand fingers.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
