if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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