her vagine was all disorganized.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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