I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Duck Duck Cougar?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
