they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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