I just pynch a tree in the face
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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