Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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