Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
