I got chris browned last night
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
