I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
