K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
