craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
