Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
