I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
