Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
