seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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