I feel like abortions should bother me more
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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