Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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