Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
