it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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