More tranny stories later!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
