i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
