Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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