how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
