your parents love me but you hate me
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
