:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Someone shit on the floor
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
