I must be too annoying 4 u.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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