Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
