what if every blade of grass was a penis?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
