apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
