My room smells like vodka and shame
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
