Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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