It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize