sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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