It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
