As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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