This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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