Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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