hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
