And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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