do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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