So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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