You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
