I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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