yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
